Meet Woody & Stump

Woody and Stump On the Air

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Hi, we're Woody & Stump!

We're termites as you might have noticed and we are just two of a much larger colony. Our sole purpose in life is to locate and devour wood (cellulose to be exact), while trying to avoid contact with the ants... right Stump? You humans have decided to build houses out of our favorite food, so we like to move in to your place just as soon as we can find a way. We can fit through some pretty small openings, like around plumbing pipes and cracks. Once we're in, we build and maintain a super highway system to your house. Our biggest obstacle in life these days is to find food that is NOT protected by Emtec with the Sentricon System. If our colony eats that Recruit HD bait, we are ALL doomed, but so far we have been able to avoid that peril. If too many people start using Sentricon we will eventually become just another statistic, so we have come up with OUR reasons for you to NOT hire Emtec to protect your house from US. We know it will be hard for you to sleep at night knowing your house is at risk, but just think of poor ol' Woody and Stump before you hire those guys in the red shirts to seal our fate.

9 Reasons to NOT use Emtec Pest Control...by Woody & Stump

#1 High crimes against the termite world. The Sentricon Colony Elimination System has killed millions and millions of termites. That's Termicide!!

#2 You've been wanting to move into your dream home. Don't call Emtec. Instead, let us eat your mortgage. And your entire home!

#3 Why spend money on expensive termite control? Save you money. You can spend it on things like tacos instead! Everyone knows that you don't need a house, to eat a taco!

#4 It's just another example of termite inequality. Just think of us as unwooded immigrants. All we want is our own little piece of your house, maybe the inside of a wall. You won't even notice us. And when you finally do, well... see reason #2.

#5 We hate red.

#6 We'll do jobs that you don't want to do. Like build cute little termite shelter tubes and swarm castles. Your kids will love it!

#7 Why pay someone to demolish that old shed in your back yard? Termites do that for free! Of course, we're the reason the old shed needs demolishing in the first place.

#8 You won't have to sweat passing your termite inspection when you sell your house. With Stumpy and I making a meal out of it, you won't have a chance.

#9 Termites deserve a chance to live life to it's fullest. Even if it means an occasional mishap. Such as trying to scale a water line with only 5 legs... that's a real character builder.